Friday, March 3, 2017

What's That Word?

Have you ever had one of those days when you couldn't pull a word out of your mind to finish a sentence. For example: " I'll use my _____ to send you that document." And you spend frustrating minutes struggling to think what in the hell is the name of that damn machine. (scanner)

Meanwhile my husband is saying, "Words, use words." Trust me this is not a parlor game.

Then there is, not the inability to remember a conversation, but apparently, misunderstanding what the conversation was about. And not being to able to get through the day without a list. Although, to my credit, I usually do not lose the list or forget about it.

Naturally the first fear that comes to my mind is watching Judge Williams' decline into the dark cloud of Alzheimer's. There was the total confusion, the lack of memory, and change her very large vocabulary into a simple one.

But, it is not Alzheimer's or dementia, according to my doctors, it is due to either the medication I am on or the effects of the stress I am trying to overcome. Gee, so the good news is I most likely will get better, the bad news is I may be a blathering idiot by the time I get there.

This is truly a warm and fuzzy feeling. Not!

And to make life even more fun, I now have a slight trimmer in my hands at times. Parkinson's? No, according to my doctors, once again, a side effect of my medication. 

I'll be patient right now and handle all these side effects and not let them add to my stress, especially since they are brought on by medications prescribed to me  by my doctors to relieve my stress. Ah, the miracles of modern medication. Unfortunately, I realize, the alternative could be deadly - literally.

All that said, when I start dragging my right leg, drooling, loosing my hair, or develop the nervous propensity to yell out inappropriate or obscene comments in public, I think we may revisit the list of medications prescribed for me. Just saying.

Maybe this is one of those times when having multiple personality disorder could come in handy. When you cannot think of a word, one of your other "personalities" may be able to assist and remind you. But, I digress.

After all, even though I want to get better, it is no worth losing my ____?___ in the process. (Damn it, what's that word?)

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