Thursday, March 9, 2017

I've Not Enough Energy for Freud

"When no one's at home in the top of your dome,  then your head's not a head, it's a nut."
- Just a saying my father used to say.

(According to Wiki) "Psychiatrists are commonly referred to as shrinks due to the historical likening of a psychiatrist's practices to the practice of primitive tribes preserving and shrinking the heads of their enemies. The slang term "shrink" evolved from the longer term "headshrinker." "

Shouldn't a "shrink" make your problems smaller? Perhaps they remove the evils from my brain, then reduce the size of my cranium so what is left will not just roll around loose up there. If that's the case, opening my mind may be akin to Pandora's box. Do we really want to go there?

Lord help me, I do not need more devils to deal with - my cart is full now. Certainly a full "cleanse" of my head would bring out the ones that hide deep in the corners. And there in lies the problem. Drs always want delve deeper into my soul and pull out every painful memory in there.

I am not a Dr, nor do I play one on TV, but I am spending my energy going forward. Reliving the unpleasant times of my past are only going to bring on more pain. Oh, I know, I know, (according to Freud) I need to address all the unresolved  issues in my past before I can have peace and a sane life.

If I were to blame all my problems on an alcoholic mother, low self esteem in high school, Rhonda S. making my life miserable every day, and my life not turning out exactly like my Daddy said it would, I fear I would never recover. There is not enough time left in my life, energy in my soul, or emotion to fight those windmills.

Instead I will start where I am, be thankful for what there is left of me, and begin to  putting my life and pshyche back on course. Then, and only then, am I willing to lie on someone's couch, look at ink spots, recall my earliest memory of my mother, and relive every wrong done to me in 57 years.

It's not gonna happen.

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