Friday, April 21, 2017

Running Running on Empty


Ever had one of those days when the weather is good, your weight is normal, your house is (relatively) clean, you have plans to do something you have been looking forward to doing, yet you feel off. Your karma is not plumb. You have no energy. Yet there is nothing you can quite put your finger on. In a way you feel like you are running on empty.

If you have never experienced this, you are lucky that you cannot relate. But stay with me here, this still applies to you. I digress.

Now if you have felt this way, it hard to articulate this to anyone (except maybe your Dr.). Your friends and family, bless their hearts, try to be helpful and supportive. Yes, life is going fine. Yes, nothing is bothering you. No, there is no physical issue. No, for God's sake, you are not descending into a deep depression. But, so far, there is nothing that comes to mind that someone else can do to help.

This is a personal feeling. It is as if there is no foundation, no footing. Something is missing, but what? 

In my case, usually I move forward, hoping I will reconnect. If I have mentioned this to anyone, then I expend a lot of energy that I do not have, assuring them that on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being drowning and 10 feeling like life is swell) I am rating about a 7. This is when I question why I bothered to discuss this with anyone.

Jackson Brown put it well, "Running on, running on empty, Running on, running blind [ ] But I'm running behind"

If someone shares with you that they feel this way. Don't try to "fix them" with platitudes, "cheer them up" with Pollyanna optimism, or hover like a protective mother over her only son. Trust me, even though your intentions are good, it only makes it worse. Then not only do they have to handle their issue, they have to handle you.

Be a friend, listen, answer any questions you are asked, be available if they need you (but give them space). Let them share, knowing you will listen and not judge. Shit like this happens. They need to know they can trust you without fear of what you will do. 

This is the time when true friends can come through. If someone reaches out to you or you think something is amiss, don't storm the Bastille, just be there. That is how you can help.

And, no, I feel fine. This is not a cry for help. This is more suggestions of how one can be a better friend and one can trust their friends to be there for them.

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